You're my lucky day

:D SMILE

Feeling like such a mess

Disappointment is NO fun!!! I've gained weight. GAINED. How is this possible? I workout EVERY day and I'm not eating sweets and I'm eating healthier and less. It goes against the laws of nature! So, due to this horrible development, I am starting over. I am scratching the last few weeks and I am starting harder and with more spirit. I am listening to my mother (yes, that wonderful, beautiful, SKINNY woman) and working out as she says. Every fifteen minutes at home sprint up the stairs; an hour of intervals on the treadmill/elliptical; NO SWEETS EVER; eating even less; and working on building muscle. My mother's theory is that I have an extraordinarily slow metabolism and need to "jump start" it. So here we go, we're jump starting...

So in other news, daddy is having his foot surgery today. Keep him in your thoughts.

I've realized I don't have time for extracurricular thoughts haha. I need to focus on getting my reading done for school and getting this weight off. Any other focuses are pointless and detrimental to my health. :] Okay, so maybe that's a bit dramatic....

SMILE! :D

I want in like a substitute

I bought my favorite Kings of Leon c.d tonight! And I had a great time with Jonathan and Dillon :D

So for the weight loss stuff... I had gained ALL my weight back according to the scale yesterday..but as of today it was ALL gone again!! This of course made me smile wide. I walked FIVE miles with my mom today and was just more active in general around the house and going to stores and such. I feel accomplished.

So sadly my ipod has gone caput and it makes me sad. As a friend of mine has pointed out, music is a HUGE part of the whole working out thing. It's distraction and inspiration for me but now that my ipod is gone I don't want to do anything that would be quiet time. Isn't that sad? That people have to have constant distraction from their own thoughts? Hm.

Tomorrow and Tuesday will be bad food wise. Tomorrow is birthday lunch with mom, and some friends which means I'll have to be careful what I order. Then Tuesday is mom's actual birthday which means cake! Buuut she ordered slices of cheesecake so we can only have one piece each-isn't mom great?

Well I guess that's about it. Off to listen to Kings of Leon :D

--> Skinny face. Hawaii again (ideal weight)

Let me show you what love can do

So this post will have nothing to do with my weight loss trials and tribulations. Instead I'm going to inform anyone who doesn't know that guys are assholes. They are rude, no where near thoughtful, lazy, and downright mean. They are tricky and sly, they have no consideration for emotions. They toy around and they say things that they don't mean. They pretend they're doing something for your good but it's only to boost themselves.

Can you tell that I'm frustrated, annoyed, and hurt?

I want to see Bruce Springsteen again. I want to feel love again. I want someone to care for. I want, I want, I want!

I cry because I feel bad for moving out. My mom is so upset...and I want to stay home for her sake but what about for my sake?

I cry.

REMEMBER TO SMILE!

I've got fierce angels...

No weight loss :[ but no weight gain either :] I didn't workout at all today-BAD CELIA. Oh well. Tomorrow I'm going to start back strong..double workouts every other day. Hold me to it?

Sooo, isn't it weird? Old feelings die hard and there's this one old feeling that never died at all. It's been four years almost..shouldn't these feelings be gone? Shouldn't I have moved on and not care if there's someone else? Shouldn't I just leave the whole situation alone? Yes but no. I never got that chance-we never got that chance and I still want it. Don't you want it too? I should let it go..yet I don't want to. Will I ever let it go if we never get a chance? Honestly..I don't think so. I think until I get that chance I'll come running back and hitting the same wall over and over. Please open the door so I can quit killing myself on this brick wall?

I'm growing my hair out. Period. End of story. No more cutting it when it gets awkward looking. It will be long again!

SMILE!!!

I have seen the others

So i know I already posted today but I have exciting-ish possible news haha. I'm being introduced to a professor Friday with the hopes of getting into research this semester. My high school bio teacher is trying to get the connection in there for me. So guys, really hope for me that this goes through and I start research THIS semester! It would SPECTACULAR. You're good will and vibes will be much appreciated.

:D

mister mister with your beard so long

Gained a pound!!! :[ :[ :[ I think it's just waterweight....I hope.... So I did a KILLER workout today :D it was great-I felt so accomplished at the end. I might go walk later, it's so nice outside (temp wise).

Why do people use you, abuse you, and insist on using personal information to attack you? I mean, I tell you something in confidence because I trust you and you just turn it around and try to hurt me with it. Please note the word try because all it was was an attempt-it didn't work. :D

I really wish I could rid myself of all negative people in my life. I mean, what's the point in being mean and negative towards someone? Pretty much to make yourself feel better and less inadequate-but that's just cruel, plus it doesn't work!

I'm happier than I've been in a long time. It's nice. Sure I have my moments but that's whatever. I'm good and happy and :D for the first time in a while. I feel like I've released so much and I feel lighter and free.

SMILE!